Odd Piece Left Out

I'm in pain, the pain of having lived a lie, the pain of not knowing what's real and what is not, the pain of making simple decisions, the pain of realising you were left alone by the ones who you loved and cared for the most, the ones you believed will be there no matter what, the pain of not knowing what do next, the pain of just feeling sad, the pain of living and trying to be happy. Sometimes I feel okay, but even then I struggle to fit back in. I feel like an odd piece left out. I know I am getting better and getting all the help in the world. Maybe I will be happier soon. Maybe it will get easier to live. Maybe things will turn beautiful soon.