Humans

Maybe we have failed afterall?

Let me join back in love

 I think this is the worst feeling

To feel alone and suffer alone

But I am hopeful

Maybe this time the test will turn positive for me

I hope so. I am sustaining for it.

I don't know how many weeks

But I am sustaining

And I hope all of this helps someone else too

In their journey

Mental health diagnosis needs to improve

Let me join back in love

Sometime soon

Fragile

Should I keep thinking about you?

Is it etched deep in my mind?

Will I live and love without you?

Can I breathe and fly without you?

Why is it so hard yet beautiful?

My brain is all you, and without you i feel dead

Is it all there is?

How can I be joyful without you?

Or can I be?

What's right and wrong?

Should I be sad, and hurtful?

Why is it so?

Is it fair?

Is this what makes me human?

This fragility, and missing.

Suicidal

Wheat makes me suicidal(after some time).

Emotional and Numb

I feel both emotional and numb

With varying degrees

With varying periods

Emotional makes me think about the past

Numbness makes me feel nothing

I don't know if this is the way I'm supposed to breathe

If it's good or bad

If bread is good or bad for me

Maybe it is

Maybe it isn't

I truly don't know

Because I have both depth of emotions

And lack of emotions at the same time

I don't know what to stick with

Beauty of Love

There's this beauty of love that I miss

There's this beauty of happiness that I miss

I miss the magic and joy of loving and caring

Maybe some day I'll be able to love again

To feel human again

To feel great again

To be good again

To see beauty in everything

To see the elegance in simplicity

To see the oneness in love

All the years :)

I think friendship is the most valuable thing that we all got over the years. We might not realise it sometimes. But it's all there is when it's bare bones. I'm grateful that we all met.

Strange Place

It's a strange place to be in.

To be on the verge of not wanting to live anymore.

I wonder why my body is reacting this way.

There must be some reason, I guess.

I hope i find it and be happy.

Maybe i won't be happy 

And I don't know if that's okay

Sometimes all i just want is a tiny bit of happiness

Just to go on and relax

But somehow i seem to miss it

It's a struggle

It's a struggle to feel little happy.

Issue is i don't know what helps me and what doesn't. Diet wise. But I'm hopeful that I'm close to a solution. I just want to know why I feel the way i feel.

Miss you

Why do I feel so sad about you?
Why do I miss you always?
Why do I crave for you?
Why do I feel like you are always with me?
Why is it so painful missing you?
Why do I feel incomplete without you?
Why do I feel lost without you?
Why do I feel pointless without you?
Why do you feel like struggling without you?

Will I ever breathe okay?
Will I ever feel okay?
Will I always be sad?
Can I just stop living?
Why do I miss you more and more?
Is this all normal?
Or is it just me?
and just me?

Been better, Struggling lately

 I have been better since march.

Once I started having whey I am making daily at home using a yoghurt maker. Maybe the bacteria helps with my mind. Somedays I feel like I have progressed a lot mentally. I am more productive these days. I am able to love more.

 

But lately I have been having bad days. All of that could be since I started having whey protein that my friend gifted for me. I am going to stop consuming it now. Maybe it will help. Maybe I will be happy again. Maybe I will be happier again. Maybe I will be happiest again. Soon. I hope so.

May the bacteria be with you! haha

Bad Day

I feel like i distance myself from people i love.

I miss my best friend. We used to be there for everything. Now i am not able to even talk with him properly. I feel like i have distances myself from him. I want to be normal and happy. I'll be somehow.

Sleep and Dreams

"I'm so tired

I can't wait to wake up tomorrow

I can't wait to just dream"

If you like dreams, you should sleep.

Sure.

Dream about me.

Me and you going to 

I'll try to love meanwhile

With whatever goodness i have left

From this world.

How do I breathe?

I can't forget you.

You are still in my mind.

No matter what i try, you don't go away.

And i don't know what to do anymore.

It's painful. But in a good way.

I like the pain. Why were you sad then?

I still don't know. And it puzzles me to date

That i didn't come up to you

Hugged you and told that it was all gonna be okay

For we had each other

Maybe i was a coward

Or maybe i was in love

I don't know

Do you miss me?

Do you miss me just a tat bit?

What should I do now?

I don't feel that good.

Without you.

I seemed to have forgotten how to love

Almost impossible to breathe.

Almost.