Breathing

My soul is breathing now.

Thanks to you.

It was caged for years

and now it's breathing

and healing slowly.

I never thought I would feel this way

again in my life.

You can't imagine how it feels.

It's like I have risen from hell

Risen from being dead.

Truly.

Or in words of my past

"To realise the beauty of rain, you have to walk through the deserts."

And I was in the desert again,

lost without a compass

But now I see the rain

And I cherish it with all my heart

The clouds look beautiful

And I love the rainbow

Everything seems so bright and shiny

And I'm happy, again

After so many years.

Thanks again.

Love you lots.

Messed Up Me

I just realised how messed up I am.

Like how messed up everything I made. 

Lovely.

I so wish I was not born at all.

Pretty messed up life.

I suppose.

I don't feel sad. Just remorse.

Can I please get some years back?

Please please

Mess my stupid mind and it's flaws

Do you know what the craziest part is?

I don't think it's all over yet.

It's still there to mess me up more.

To break me into more pieces.

To bleed more

Till I die

And then it all ends

For the good

Away You Beautiful Souls

Oh you loved ones,

Stay away from me,

I'm not beautiful always,

Like now, I'm not always

Stay far away,

So that I can be true in my love,

And never hurt you all more,

Coz at times I don't understand myself

Or I don't have myself

Or I don't have love

Or what will happen to me

Or what will happen to the people around me

Maybe it will all change around for good

But just maybe, what if it doesn't?

Away you beautiful souls

Far far away

Away you beautiful souls

Until we all meet again

Away you beautiful souls