This is a rough feeling

It's a rough feeling

Knowing you don't feel well

But you don't know how to feel well

Or why you feel sick

It's rough

You want to love

But you can't

Everything you see is in gray

There's not any hope

Just darkness and pure gray

Someday I'll find an answer

And all of this will end

For good

Forever 

One day less

One day less

Somehow

I'll try to push

As far as I can

I'll push as far as I can

I want this to stop

All of this to end

End myself

For i can't take the pain anymore

One day less

Just one day less

Maybe Forever

I thought I'll be able to love everything and everyone

And get away with it

But i failed

Yet sometimes I'm happy

And I'm able to love like that

Like now

And maybe forever

Soon 

I want to stop existing

All of this is very painful sometimes

I don't even know why I'm suffering like this

It should stop soon

No matter what i try there's no hope

Everything seems pointless and dark

Please let me go

I don't want to suffer anymore

Or give me an answer

And make me better 

Somedays I feel like

Somedays i feel like dying

Just because I feel indifferent

There are glimpses of love

But not a lot

Not a lot

I feel like these posts are pointless

Like is most things in life

Only living is real

Only breathing is real

Nothing more

Nothing less

Maybe it is all pointless afterall

I promised myself i won't delete any posts anymore

Maybe all of these might help someone

I wish I was just music

Some happy or good music

Part of the notes

Among them

Happier

Survive

Some moments my only hope is that there is an end to all this

Like naturally it will all end someday

And that i just have to survive till then no matter what

And that nothing else matters

Worst part is people get hurt

And I feel helpless

Maybe that's hope

I'm sorry that you are hurt.

I don't know why it keeps happening to the people I love. 

I can only wish for a simpler elegant life.

But life is not simpler and elegant.

Atleast not always

It's sometimes painful

Sometimes without answers

Sometimes with no one to help

But should we stop trying?

Can we stop trying?

We can't. So we move on.

Live till we die.

Even in pain and sadness.

Maybe that's hope.

That everything will be alright in the end.

I hope things get easier for everyone in the world.

That everyone gets filled with the magic of love, and stays happy and healthy.

All the time. Forever.

Without err

Are humans meant to be broken?

Broken and then healed at moments.

Which is more divine?

Being broken or being healed.

Maybe both are the same.

Maybe everything is divine.

And maybe nothing is.

Maybe it's just me.

Maybe it's fate.

And just maybe humans could be just divine.

Without err.

I'll never know.

How does it feel?

Somedays I don't brush my teeth.

I try to engage in something and loses interest in under twenty seconds.

I don't feel a lot hungry.

I am more silent.

I don't sleep well.

Everything feels dull and gray.

I want to sleep more but I'm not able to.

Racing Thoughts

Stop, stop, stop.

No Love

There's no love

I feel dry and numb

There's no love

That I can share and redeem

I miss being happy and content

There's no love left

for me to live on.

There's no love left

and I don't know why.

There's no love left

and I wish I was never born.

There's no love left

and I wish I had some so I didn't hurt others.

There's no love left

that I wish I was dead soon.

Why is this so cruel?

What did I do to be in this hell?

Where is my love?

Why can't it be found?

There's no love left

There's no life left

for me to live on.

I miss you.

I think the most valuable thing i miss in this life is you. Being able to talk with you. That's only what i want. Just be with you. And yet you are not there anymore. And I don't want to do. I feel empty and stressed. I feel incomplete. Without you. I'm sorry if I've hurt you. May us be in love in next life.